When Scott and I decided to move to New York City, I thought about pursuing work in the corporate world of social media. If not here and now, then where and when?
I have a degree in Mass Communications, a passion to market to the masses through online platforms, and I love communicating with others through social and interactive channels.
I’ve recently had a few interviews that promise growth in the opportunities to do so, and they excite me. What started as a way to document our wedding planning quickly turned into starting a blog about (mostly) healthy living, and I feel grateful to have inadvertently fallen into working in the world of social media, even if it’s for myself.
Over the last few years, however, I have grown a love and an intense dislike towards it.
As fun as it is to share everything that you’re doing with the world, it can be just as stimulating to unplug and take time away from editing, uploading, and hashtagging your every move.
So, where do we find a balance? And, if we want to share the good with the bad without publicly whining, how much of our lives should we post?
Longtime blog readers know to expect raw and honest topics from time to time. Overall, I prefer to keep a happy, uplifting tone to my posts, but every now and then I will grab a cup of coffee (or wine, let’s be real) and type out loud.
After a conversation on the topic with my mother and then another with my friend, I feel like it would be beneficial to discuss it here, too.
Social Media. It’s a crazy, online world of sharing, tracking, and marketing. It’s a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends and family near and far, and it can also help you plan your next party, workout, or meal. It’s the best.
Social Media. It’s a time-sucker and complete and utter distraction. It’s something that some let define them based on the number of likes, comments, or retweets they get on a post. It’s the worst.
As much as the world of social media thrills me, it also scares me. I consider myself lucky to have grown up in a generation that didn’t have smart phones in high school, where I was forced to make phone calls or meet someone face-to-face to chat with them. These days, it’s a small victory to get a teenager off of their phone for an hour.
If they’re not scrolling through their channels, they’re video chatting with friends. If they’re not posting photos or status updates, they’re revisiting pages to see how many likes appeared since they last logged on. In a sense, their popularity on social media defines their likability (or seemingly so to them) in life.
Do you let social media define you?
Sometimes I’ll catch myself aimlessly scrolling my news feeds for longer than I care to admit. And what’s worse, is most of the time it makes me upset as a result. I’ll spiral into a black hole of negative, self-shaming thoughts and start to seriously wonder what I’m doing with my life.
Why don’t we have kids yet?
Why don’t we have a house that we can fix up?
Why can’t we afford to travel the world?
Why am I just sitting here when I could be doing all of these cool things?
The list goes on and on … and it’s exhausting.
There have been several instances where I came very close to deleting all of my accounts, but that isn’t really an option when you run a blog. Yes, people subscribe to the posts, but a simple share of your post across social media channels is to be expected.
After the last few years of uncertainties and what feels like our lives being put on hold, uprooted, and completely re-tracked, maintaining an online presence has been a challenge. What keeps pulling me back to it is my love for sharing how-tos, go-tos, and inspiring things that I think others would appreciate.
(an ode to my Craft Ideas board on Pinterest)
Whenever I’m having a rough day, I try to remember why I post in the first place, and it’s simply because I enjoy sharing my life with people. I feel in my element documenting recipes and healthy eating tips. I truly love putting my workouts out there for others to try and challenge themselves.
And you know what? Emails from readers thanking me for what I do usually come at the perfect (and unexpected) time.
For me, social media is an extension of my blog and my life. Being present in life is most important to me, and if something that happens during my everyday adventures is something that I want to go into detail about, I will most likely write about it on the blog and then share my experiences via social media.
Social media gives me a way to market my work and document memories. Social media = share.
It’s tricky though. If you allow yourself to fall into The Comparison Trap or constantly find yourself struggling to keep up with the Joneses, that share will easily turn into compare.
You might experience feelings of socio-economic inferiority, and, in turn, you will let social media will define who you are.
Signing up for a Facebook account should come with a disclaimer. We’re not perfect, and we usually don’t post the bad with the good.
It’s important to remember that photos and stories shared on social media channels are only small glimpses into the reality of a person’s life. Yes, there are photos and times in our lives that are glamorous, but those photos could have been captured during the only ten good minutes or so out of an otherwise horrible day.
So, what happens next? We share the photo that depicts the seemingly perfect day with the perfect filter and witty hashtags. It’s just what we do.
If nothing else, remember that … we are more than what we appear to be on social media, and in no way does our social media “status” define us.
We get so preoccupied feeling unsatisfied by our lives compared to ours that we neglect to appreciate our lives for what they are. We easily forget the simple pleasures that take place every day and, instead, harp on what doesn’t. It’s such a backwards way of living!
The next time you find yourself reading blogs, scrolling social media, or getting disappointed about the number of likes or comments on something, ask yourself why. What exactly about that is upsetting, and why does it matter?
You are so much more than your likes on a news feed will ever be.
***
I appreciate you checking in today! As usual, I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments section below. I hope you can take this post as a reminder to take social platforms for what they are … social platforms.
You might also like:
• 10 Things That Will Hold You Back From Being Happy
• Disclaimer: We’re Not Perfect
• In-Person Versus Online Relationships
• Dealing With Negativity on Social Media
… and more on the Coffee Talks page.
Have a great day!

I completely agree life can be totally taken over by social media. We always have to remember that life does go on even if you haven’t looked at instagram in a few hours. I have already told myself that over this holiday weekend ((since I’ll be with all my family)) that the phone is being put away and ONLY used to take pictures.
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When I’m traveling or attending something important with loved ones, I like to put my phone on airplane mode. That way, I can still take pictures with my phone, but I’m not getting distracted by notifications and messages!
I do this, too! If I’m out with my husband he has his phone on him for emergency purposes (or, um, GPS capabilities haha!), I will often leave my phone completely behind (I have a love-hate relationship with being connected to everyone/everything all the time). I’ll leave it in my bedroom when I’m working at home sometimes just to get away from it all during the day because it really can be so distracting and a total time/energy suck.
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This is so well said! I have often though about deleting accounts as well, but something keeps me from doing so – I think I just like the time from time distraction too much! This is perfect though and a great reminder to take a step back and focus on what is really important.
I agree so much that social media is both the best, and the worst. I’ve met some amazing people, but then there’s the comparison trap which suuuuucks.
I feel the EXACT same way right now. It always seems to happen to me more in the summer too when I’m burnt out and just want to work on other things. I think when things start feeling like work and less like fun then it’s time to scale back. The internet will always be here when you get back. 🙂
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This is such a great post. It can totally frustrate me how social media really highlights the best parts of everything and doesn’t give the whole picture. But I definitely fall into this trap too and am guilty of it myself. For awhile I would spend 20 or more minutes every night browsing social media before falling asleep. Finally I was like “ahh what am I doing”.. why am I ending my day with other people? I want to end each day with reflecting on myself, loved ones, etc.. not some random people who I barely know haha.
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I read a lot of blogs and I’ve been doing so for a long time now, but I can only imagine what it is to have a blog. There is a few blogs that I have been reading through the years that are closed now. I can understand the pressure to have something exciting to show or talk about every day of the week. So I guess that at a point you probably wonder if you live for yourself or if you live for social media. And it must be difficult when you work in social media to find a balance, a way to make social media part of your life and not define your life.
I have a theory about it, I’ve noticed that the blogs that I have been reading for the longest time are blogs that are kind of managed like business, you know like you feel that there is a calculated routine. And it works, those blogs have the biggest audience. But it’s not only for the audience, I think maybe that could be THE efficient way to do.
Moreover, I don’t think that you need to be very intimate or having a specially exciting life for your readers to connect with you… The readers will like the blog if they like your personality. That’s what I am looking for! Someone with whom I share one or a lot of interests. And I will stick to a blog if I find you funny or uplifting or if I think that you have some interesting thoughts about life in general or are someone with a great persona that can be motivating or thoughts provoking. 🙂 Please don’t loose faith!
Well said! i actually just posted last week on how blogging is hard nowadays with all the social media and everything you have to do. I love it, but just like you said, sometimes it’s just nice to unplug and not be hashtagging and sharing everything!
Social media can be both super fun and just frustrating sometimes. I am very guilty of getting sucked into the whole comparison game. Amongst my peers, I sometimes feel like: Why have I not graduated and moved onto a real job yet? Why didn’t I travel in college and have an IG feed full of beautiful worldly pictures? Why I am not engaged yet? And the list goes on of course.
It IS exhausting! I just try to stay focused on the good things that come out of it and to not click on people’s profiles or pages just to see how many followers/likes/whatever they have. I try to celebrate others’ successes and remember that I have the whole rest of my life to try to grow my blog, and that other people’s successes are independent of my success. 🙂
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This resonates with me so hard right now. I am like you in that I really enjoy social media but also have an intense dislike for it (and some of the people on there trying to sell me stuff constantly!). I just wrote about this same topic, but from the view on Instagram only.
I recently changed the way I use Instagram and I now have this intense fear that people are constantly judging me. I just moved to Hawaii, and while it is awesome and beautiful here, it’s hard not to feel like people are sitting there saying “omg, she’s so lucky” or secretly hating me for living here. I always try to keep social media real. If I have breakfast somewhere with an ocean view, that IS my real life! But I think something about social media not showing the whole story makes it seem like life is WAY more glamorous than it actually is. I also don’t share too much of the “bad” going on, but mostly because it’s not really photograph-able, if that makes sense.
I realized lately that I’m way too sucked in though so I’m taking all of July off social media to just unplug and hopefully come back at it with fresh eyes.
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I SO feel the same way!! First off, I’m trying to develop my little blog for fun, and as a way to feed my passion for health, food and fitness, while still working a FT job. I see that I’m putting way too much worth into whether anyone ever reads it (they don’t lol), likes it, or follows me on Instagram. It’s hard not to get sucked in. But I have to remember why I started it in the first place.
Second, I am just generally frustrated with people’s reliance on elec devices. I feel like I can’t talk to friends or loved ones without them always checking their phones. People don’t know how to interact anymore, or how to go 4 seconds without pulling out their phones in line at Starbucks or chipotle lol. OK– I’m done my old lady rant. Long day.. Lol
To me, social media has to have an element of familiarity or identification with the people that you engage with, such as on Facebook or Twitter. Reddit is largely anonymous. People often use throwaway accounts so that they won’t be identified by those that they know personally. Maybe I’m out of touch and my view of what social media is isn’t what it’s generally accepted to be, but those are my views anyway.
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Absolutely! I like to think of it this way..someone posts their holiday today…another friend posts their holiday next week…and I start to get jealous…and then I stop myself and ask…
When did I last go on a holiday? only 5 months ago…
Why am I not going on a holiday right now? because I’m saving for something bigger
We compare our lives to the 100s of photographs we see on a daily basis but in reality we can only do so much in 1 day anyways…how could we possibly compete?
It’s always helpful to check in with ourselves and proclaim our own worth…thanks for sharing! xo
What a great, honest, and true post. I can relate to everything you write. I work in the PR-business which means I also spend a LOT of time on social media during my work hours. It can sometimes feel kind of depressing though I actually do love social media. But sometimes it’s hard not to compare myself (both personal and work wise) with others. Even though I try not to. But really social media shouldn’t define us. Not at all. We aren’t defined by how many blog readers we have, like a photo on Instagram gets etc. We are defined by who we are and what we do.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts – it’s nice to hear I’m not alone!
I’ve started a schedule for myself for being on social media outlets, and it’s helped not dig down into that dark rabbit hole. I allow myself to login 3x/day and catch up (ideally I’d like to only check in once a day, but lets get real I just started lolol). Setting a set time/schedule definitely helps and I’ve noticed (I know, this is gonna sound crazy) improvement in my mood because of it!
I also in the a.m. usually, put my phone on airplane mode and have a set hour for myself where I do something relaxing and either play music online, colour, or literally sit down with my dog for that time. I guess my mind/body likes being on a sched. Ha!
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I have been way more involved in social media since starting my blog. It definitely is a time suck and can be exhausting, overwhelming, and depressing. The other night I was looking at my friends posts on snapchat and one had taken videos of her friends out dancing and I thought “OMG I am so glad snapchat/social media was not a thing/as big when I was in my party years”. I do not need those moments captured and played out online! I’m a little worried for the direction everything is headed with the overwhelming obsession with being on phones and social media all the time.
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