I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I am not quite sure where this need for self-love and reflection is coming from, but I’m embracing it. And since I write a blog, I’m sharing it with you.
Do you know what has been the number one thing on my mind?
Growing up vs. not growing up.
28 years old is a strange age for me to grasp. I have officially entered into the “late twenties” category, and am starting to wonder what exactly that means. I woke up thinking about this and stumbling across this “30 Signs You’re Almost 30” article did me in. That is my life!
When I think back to my college days, I would have bet high dollars that at this age I would be a mother, settled into a home, and possibly into a full-time career. I would have told you that my nights will consist of making dinner, tucking the little ones into their beds, and spending my down time catching up on laundry, cleaning up, and relaxing with the occasional glass of wine. That nights out will only be on the weekends, if we had a babysitter, and they will be something I would look forward to and have in the calendar weeks ahead of time. Friday nights will be “pizza nights” just because. Sundays will be “family day” and after lunch, I will spend the rest of the day getting ready for the busy work week ahead.
When I think back to five years ago, I would have said the same thing.
When I think back to two years ago, it makes me laugh a little.
Nothing about what I wrote above has happened. But, I couldn’t be more okay with it! Here’s why.
On one hand, I feel like I have matured greatly over the past five years. I have learned from mistakes, grown spiritually, and have found exactly what I want to get out of life. I want to be me. I want to live a happy, healthy life and inspire others to do the same. I want to dance. I want to share my stories and surround myself with positive people. I want to set goals and reach them. I want to make a difference!
Not Growing Up
On the other hand, I still feel like I am a 21-year-old who doesn’t have it all figured out. I’m not quite ready to be a mother. I’m selfish and want to be able to go out of town on a moment’s notice if the opportunity presents itself. I like to spend my extra income on things like makeup, dinners out, and little indulgences that make me happy. I’m not ready to sacrifice things I like and want to do and completely change my schedule. I like to have a good time after a game and hang out with my friends. I like to make breakfast for dinner. For now, keeping up with Roadie and the cats is enough responsibility.
I am completely content with where I am and what I am doing.
Seeing people post baby pictures and home improvement projects on their houses used to leave me feeling a little left out. I wanted to own a home and start remodeling it room by room. I wanted to create the coolest permanent home office. I wanted a game/entertainment room for adults and a play room for kids. I wanted to create a place to call my own and start traditions in one place with my family.
With every wedding anniversary comes the question from friends and family about our plans for children and our future. Now that we live far away from a lot of them, catch up calls are required and in turn, so is an update of life each time. It’s not uncommon for those close to us to wonder what our next move (figuratively not literally) in life is.
We really don’t know. Starting a family is something Scott and I go back and forth about every day. We firmly believe that everything happens for a reason at the right time, and it hasn’t happened yet for a reason.
Am I ready to grow up, and for that matter is Scott ready to grow up?
Only time will tell.
For now, I will continue to enjoy being the grandma of my dance team and hang with the best of ’em! Doing what I love and loving what I do is all I am striving for.
Something To Think About
Embrace the present.
Stop worrying about what may or may not happen tomorrow.
Some things are in your control, but most of life isn’t.
Only you have the choice to make each day better than the last.
(Thought this little nugget from Tina was appropriate.)
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Don’t live off of silly life timelines and deadlines.
Do YOU and be HAPPY with who that is!
Christa @ Situps & Sequins
I literally could not relate to this post more! My husband and I talk about this allll the time. Everyone around us is having babies, but for some reason we are just not ready and we wonder if we are crazy! Like you guys, we still want the ability to be a little selfish and there are many more things we want to do before bringing a little one into our family. I’ve come to terms with the fact that, although my “life plans” aren’t necessarily going the way I thought they would, everything happens for a reason and I couldn’t be happier where I am now. (Although the thought of turning the big 3-0 doesn’t exactly excite me, that BuzzFeed article pretty much sums it up.) 🙂
I feel that way all the time! Like we’re the crazy ones… but it is what it is. All you can do is plan for what works in YOUR life for YOU. Glad you find humor in the article too. 😉
Karen @ Runner Girl Eats
LOVE this. I am coming up on my 28th birthday and part of me feels like I am ‘behind schedule’ without kids/house/etc. But the other part of me feels like a kid that still doesn’t want to do laundry or cook dinner every night. My fiance and I have been feeling the tug between growing up and not growing up and are finally embracing this in between time 🙂
Sometimes that’s all you can do! 🙂
Heather, I needed this !!! I am turning 29 next week and find myself asking all these same questions. I am realizing I have to let things go be happy in the moment and appreciate where I am right now in life. Thanks for writing this !
Thanks for reading! And you’re right… at some point we just have to let go and let life happen without crazy expectations. That’s how we will be our happiest selves! 🙂
Gah, this is exactly where I am! I’m 27 now and have recently noticed almost all of those items on the “30 signs you’re almost 30” list. Such a huge change from even two years ago. The best part, though, is that I’m really enjoying this in-between stage and my fiancé is in the exact same place. I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been! I feel like I know myself and know what I want out of life now, and have the energy to make it happen.
That’s all you can do: enjoy the NOW! Because it won’t be “now” forever. Great attitude!
I love this post because mid-late twneties is such a confusing time. It has taken me a lot of thought to come to he conclusion that I need to do what makes ME happy and not what I think I SHOULD be doing. Well put!
Alisha @ Alisha's Appetite
I’ve been thinking about this topic A LOT lately! I feel like I keep wishing my life away- wishing for the day our student loans are paid off, when we can finally be homeowners, when I get promoted to full time and on and on. I finally told myself one day that I am not going to live for the future, I am going to live for NOW and embrace my life how it is right now. Because someday I’ll look back and wonder why I didn’t let myself be happy and love this stage of my life for what it is. So what I’m saying is- well put!
If we kept living on wishing and waiting for things to happen, nothing would ever get done! 😉 You are SO right. Live for the now with no regrets!
Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy
I feel this way a lot. I just turned 25, and I was one of the first of my friends to get married at 23, so I feel like the “old” one of the group, and yet I still feel so young. This is such a weird, in-between stage in life!
I definitely feel like the “old” one of my group of friends up here. But, at the end of the day, it’s how you feel and what you do to make you feel good that matters.
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables
I think as long as you’re doing what you love, then you’re doing it “right” 🙂
I love this post!! I am a 31 year old wife and mother of 2 crazy kids, who still feels like she is 21. I am on the PTO , we do Friday night dinners out, and I still love a good date night. I had a REALLy hard time turning 29. Weird I know, I had the house and family, what’s the big deal. When I turned 30 was I supposed to have it together and be a real grown up? I don’t know. I realized that when I woke up 30yrs old I was no different from when I was in. My 20’s. Things don’t have to change until you make them happen. Until then have fun with the husband. ‘Cause when the kids come, you are going to need those fun times to help keep your sanity and keep you connected. When there is spaghetti on the ceiling fan and someone flushed the car keys, you can look at each other and say remember when…… Besides don’t you know 50 is the new 40, 40 is the new 30, 30 is the new 20, and that would make you a teenager 😉 give yourself time, you are right where you need to be.
Sounds similar to how I would be with two little ones! Good for you for doing things for you AND your family! 🙂
I’m with you, i’m loving this “in-between” time where we’re not moving towards anything big (new house, baby, job change, etc). Its really nice to just BE for awhile and enjoy life as it is.
Such a pretty lady! Great post- I am definitely not where I thought I would be at this point in like and I am learning everyday how to accept that and enjoy the present moment!
This is spot on!!! My 3 closest friends all have babies and I could not be more happy for them! But for my husband and I…we just aren’t ready yet. And the longer we wait, the more I worry that we won’t ever be ready! But I know that in God’s time…we’ll know when it’s ready for the next stage. But for right now your post is reminding me to enjoy right here. Right now 🙂 Thanks for the reminder!
I love this post because I think a lot of people are in the same boat. Me being one of them! I can completely relate to the being too “selfish” to have kids. At this point in my life, I’m perfectly happy with the thought of not having any.
thank you for posting this! this is just what i needed to read this week. it’s really true: you can’t compare yourself or your situation to anyone else because there are so many variables and factors involved, that are out of your control… and that’s what makes life fun.