Hi friends! How’s life on the outside going?
I’m currently on my third attempt at trying to finish this post to share with you in between newborn cuddles and cries, but my intentions are to log on and publish more often once we get into our groove!
We’re officially past the two-week mark, so I figured it was time to check in with you guys and update you on how things are going over here.
The short version? Great!
The long version with more stories and details? Read below!
Skyler’s Two Week Update
The first two weeks with a newborn at home went just as I expected them to. We had a lot of great days, but a handful of hard days, too.
Skyler went from being an absolute angel to extremely fussy at the drop of a hat, and I responded with a lot of different and unpredictable emotions. At one point, I cried out of frustration while changing his diaper because I couldn’t figure out why he was still crying. At another point, I cried while rocking and singing him to sleep because I still couldn’t believe that he was real and in my arms. I’m clearly functioning with a healthy dose of hormones these days.
The first few weeks included days when I had complete control over everything and days when I had none. There were nights of restful sleep (for 2-3 hours at a time) and nights of zero sleep for me.
Every day was different, and still is, and that’s okay. He’s a newborn, and that’s what newborns do – you can count on one thing and one thing only … nothing being predictable.
The biggest adjustment that I’m going through right now is to simply be okay with getting nothing done during the day. When he’s fussy or cluster feeding, I basically nurse him, change him, soothe him, put him down for a (quick) nap, and repeat until it’s time to go to bed. On a good day I can get in a few loads of laundry, organize the nursery, go on a walk with Sky and Roadie, answer a few emails, and take a shower. Gone are the days where my focus was creating content for this blog! At least for now. I’m hoping that will change once he gets on more of a schedule and has (somewhat) set nap times throughout the day.
Right now my goal is to get through the first few months of Skyler’s life and spend as much time with him as I possibly can. Where I once thought I would hone in and write a few hours a day – no matter what – has turned into cuddling this guy close with a movie on in the background instead. And I’m okay with that.
I know this time is going to go by too fast, and the last thing I want to do is regret spending too much time on my to-do lists and not enough time with him.
Sky loves to be held, snuggled, and to move around with me as much as possible. I have two baby carriers (pictured above is the ), but only one is compatible with his weight right now (somewhere around 7 pounds 5 oz), and it will be a lot more comfortable for him when he’s a little bigger. I might order a sling or wrap to wear around the apartment, and I have heard the are good for wearing at this stage. Any other suggestions?
We’ve been breastfeeding since the start (more on that in the Q&A section below), and he’s been doing more than his share on the diaper front. We have had a few epic blowouts already, one where he got a mess all over our changing pad and dresser (thank goodness for the wipeable !), but we survived and laughed really hard about it.
Skyler has had a handful of visitors from friends and is also adjusting well with our fur babies.
Scott’s mom flew up for the birth and stayed with us for a night, and my mom stayed a week to help us get settled in. She was a huge help and is actually coming back next week when Scott goes overseas for a work event. It will be nice to have her in the apartment again, and then Scott’s mom is coming for another visit after that. Skyler will be getting a lot of Grandma love!
One of the things that I was most worried about with bringing a newborn into our home was how our pets, specifically Roadie, would react to him. So far, so good, and they are all learning to co-exist and love each other.
(Scott’s holding the number 4 up for how many babies he has on him.)
Our couch in the living room has turned into Skyler’s oasis with blankets, pillows, boppys, swings, burp cloths, and binkies. We still have some work to do on the nursery and the apartment in general (we were toying with the idea of moving out of a fourth story walk-up, so we delayed projects like painting and hanging a lot of pictures until now), but we’re going at our own pace and we are getting it all figured out.
Scott has been an amazing spouse and father. I knew he would be great, but I am truly surprised by just how hands-on he has been with everything. We used to always joke that he would never change a diaper and that he wouldn’t know what to do with a baby besides stare at him until he could talk, but it’s been the complete opposite. We practically have to take turns holding him because we both want to cuddle on him all the time.
(at our first visit to the pediatrician – one week old!)
I am truly thankful for him, and the addition of this miracle has already brought us closer. I know it won’t always seem this easy and that kids will test our relationship in a lot of different ways in the future, but I’m going to hold on to this feeling of gratefulness for now and will take all of the foot and back rubs when offered, too.
What I’ve realized the most over the last few weeks is that I need to just live in the moment. At the end of the day, emails will still be there, blog posts can be written or finished the next day (or days … ha), and these early days won’t last forever. We’re taking everything one day at a time and are doing our best to be the best parents to this little man!
Likes & Dislikes
At two weeks, Skyler is currently loving to eat, nap, suck on his pacifier, any type of movement, and all of the snuggles from us.
He’s not a fan of diaper changes, baths, or getting more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. It’s pretty much the typical life of a newborn!
We don’t have too many clothes for this stage, so there is always laundry to be done with outfits on repeat. I read a suggestion to not invest a lot on the newborn size because they grow out of it so quickly, but some of the newborn sizes of certain brands are still too big on him! I’m looking forward to him fitting into more of what we’ve collected and bought for him. Until then, it’s a lot of greys and neutrals because we weren’t sure of his gender until he arrived!
Postpartum Recovery
Now that I’ve experienced giving birth and recovering from that, I think I’m going to put together a Fourth Trimester Favorites post. (I’m also making a note to myself to finish my Third Trimester Favorites post, too … whoops!)
I didn’t understand why people use the term Fourth Trimester versus Postpartum, but I totally get it now. The four weeks after birth are completely valid of a loop-in to pregnancy. You’re obviously dealing with a newborn, but you’re also dealing with your body after creating another body. There’s a lot that happens after giving birth that not many people talk about, and I’m not sure this is the space to do it, but I feel comfortable covering the non-detailed basics with an update on how I’m doing two weeks out.
(And again, I’ll share my must-have product list from the hospital and home recovery soon.)
The biggest shocker is that I’m still bleeding. I expected for that to happen in the hospital and even a few days later, but two and a half weeks later, here we are. It reminds me of having the heaviest, longest period ever. I wore disposable undies from the hospital with two HUGE pads at a time for days until I graduated to Depends Silhouettes (literally – a suggestion from two friends that I certainly recommend as well!), and finally feel somewhat back to myself wearing small liners. Now I’m barely spotting unless I overdue it with walking or straightening up around the house. The body knows when to let you know to slow it down – that’s for sure!
Beyond the bleeding, something I didn’t take into consideration post-birth was the thought of having to go to the bathroom for the first time. Whether that means #1 or #2, the thought of either terrified me. But, you get through it, and it was actually required to go upstairs to my recovery room a few hours after delivery. My nurses at the hospital were wonderful with supplying everything I needed along with medication to help things move along and make me as comfortable as possible.
Some of you might have seen a post that I shared on my Instagram stories about how my stomach looked 6 months pregnant a few days after delivery. FYI, this is completely normal. I knew that bellies don’t magically disappear once the baby is delivered, but I didn’t really expect so much to still be hanging around when I came home from the hospital.
(the day after we came home from the hospital – 4 days post postpartum)
The good news is that things are settling back into place and I would say that my stomach looks about 3 months pregnant now. Anyone who is pregnant and reading this, please be kind to yourself with post-baby expectations.
My doctor and the nurses checked on me several times a day while in the hospital to make sure that everything was shifting back into place correctly. Think about how everything inside moved around! My uterus grew somewhere between 500 and 1,000 times its normal size. That’s insane and of course it would take some time to shrink and go back to normal!
(6 days postpartum)
I’m not cleared to work out until the end of April, so I’ve lost the majority of my muscle tone and just feel soft. It’s super weird. But, again, I’m giving my body grace for what the heck just happened to it and there will be a time where I can get back to feeling more like myself soon enough. Until then, I’m enjoying daily walks with Skyler and Roadie and I am trying to take it easy when I feel like I’m doing too much.
My boobs are bigger and sorer than I ever imagined they could be, but I’ll get more into that and breastfeeding below.
I didn’t get many stretch marks during pregnancy (this and combination is amazing!), but I started seeing some trying to appear on my stomach the first week home, so I started using the creams again. So far, so good.
Overall, I feel as great as I can be with a newborn! I’m tired and get headaches often from lack of sleep, but I kind of expected that. I was prone to migraines pre-pregnancy when I got overtired, so I don’t expect them to go away any time soon. I just keep reiterating that the newborn phase that includes 2-3 hour sleep windows and long nights of cluster feeding doesn’t last forever.
I’m taking all the snuggles in that I possibly can and I am still amazed by those little blue eyes staring back at me all day.
Questions & Answers
What was going through your head when you found out he was a boy. Did you suspect anything all along?
I would say that at least eighty percent of the people who predicted the gender of this baby said boy. They all had their reasons, but it was mostly because of how low I was carrying. In fact, Scott’s brother said that he would “eat his shirt” if the baby was a girl. His family was very confident! I started believing Sky was a boy because that’s what I heard all the time. About halfway through the pregnancy, Scott told me that he had a dream that he saw our baby and he was a boy. Ever since then he was convinced, too!
So I guess you could say I kind of expected it, even though there wasn’t any way to really know.
I’m due with my first in October and we aren’t finding out the gender either. Did you bring a blue and pink outfit or just had that one for boy or girl?
I wanted to bring an outfit for a boy and an outfit for a girl to the hospital, but then I didn’t end up ordering that way. After perusing Etsy and Pinterest for far too long, I decided on bringing a handful of onesies we had in a variety of sizes for him (newborn and 0-3 months). I did, however, purchase a swaddle blanket set that came with a hat and a headband for the announcement photo. I figured the colors could go either way and we ended up using the hat, of course.
Did you get stitches?
Yes! There was so much going on once Skyler arrived that I didn’t really know I was getting stitches until I saw my doctor showing a medical student how to do it. Once I realized what was happening, it seemed like it took forever! I didn’t know where they were or how many, but they were there along with a lot of swelling afterwards. I can still feel them when I go to the bathroom. It’s not the best feeling.
Are you strictly breastfeeding? How’s it going?
Yes. We had a rough start at the hospital though. Something I didn’t know about giving birth was that it takes a good 3-5 days for your milk to come in afterwards. Until that happens, your body produces colostrum – a clear fluid that produces important antibodies and immunoglobulins – and getting a baby to latch onto your breast for it is no easy task. And it doesn’t feel great.
Skyler latched right away for his first few feedings, but then at least twelve hours went by and he refused to grab on and get anything. His mouth was extremely dry and he was so fussy. I could tell he was hungry and I felt so helpless! I was actually in the middle of a class at the hospital when he started crying, and I excused myself to ask a nurse about supplementing him with some formula for the time being. It could have been my hormones, her tone, or a combination of a lot of things, but I had a breakdown and cried in the middle of the hallway, then went back to my room to ask for help from my night nurse. She was very patient and explained that this was normal and that he will eventually figure out what he needs and go for it. He did, but man, that was rough.
(my mom bought him this St. Patty’s Day onesie since we took him home on the holiday!)
Just in case it happened again, I asked for formula to take home to supplement with until my milk came in, and I ended up using three bottles of it. I rotated from breast to formula whenever he skipped a feeding because he wouldn’t latch or if he was extra fussy from being hungry for the first few days at home. Once my milk came in, however, I haven’t had to supplement.
I could probably write an entire post on breastfeeding and I’m only two and a half weeks in. There’s just so much that people don’t really tell you! If you’re interested in hearing more about it, I’ll go into more details later on after I get a few more weeks or months under my belt.
How did you find your pediatrician?
I actually scoped the office we ended up going with a long, long time ago because there is a location literally on our block with rave reviews. Another location is right across the street from the studio, so I figured we really couldn’t go wrong! So far they have been wonderful. But, if we didn’t have one lined up already, the hospital recommends a huge list of them along with a few visits from pediatricians themselves in the hospital before you leave.
How do you like your stroller travel system (+ andseat)?
We love it! I shared more about how we decided on Cybex in a previous post, and it has been wonderful so far. My biggest goal was to find a car seat, stroller base, and bassinet/seat that was city-friendly and lightweight enough to carry up flights of stairs. We’ve enjoyed several walks in the bassinet and also use it for where we put him to sleep at night. I love how the hood (of the seats and the car seat) pulls out far enough to shield sun from the baby’s eyes as well as light in the apartment when I’m strolling him around. It was an investment purchase, but well worth it.
Were you nervous about bringing your baby home to pets?
YES! And we are still worried that allergies might develop down the road with him. But, for now, our pediatrician doesn’t seem worried about exposing him to them right away and says it could take years for some babies to get pet allergies. So, we’re just taking it one day at a time.
We were slow to introduce them, and everything is going well so far. We do our best to spread our attention to everyone in the family equally, so there aren’t negative feelings towards Sky for stealing a lot of it. It wasn’t like this immediately, but now we can all sleep in the same room (and even bed!) with Sky in a bassinet right next to us. It’s actually really sweet.
I heard to bring home one of Sky’s blankets from the hospital to let Roadie sniff it before we brought him home for the first time, and we did that. We brought him inside in his car seat and Scott handled the official introduction because I get way too nervous and Roadie can sense that. We still don’t let them get too close, but it seems as though Roadie has accepted him as another one of us. He whines when Skyler cries and always makes sure we know when he needs us. Only time will tell how he does with an energetic toddler crawling around!
While I could still ramble on, I’m going to end this update here because it’s crazy long. Kudos to any of you who made it through all 3,300+ words while reading this!
Skyler is about to wake up any minute from a nap, but I’m going to do my best to get back to those pregnancy posts I’ve been wanting to finish writing soon enough. After a few weeks, I’ll be able to incorporate more content that isn’t as baby related!
Thank you for all of your love and support so far.
I love sharing this journey with you all!
***
In case you missed it …
Welcome To The World, Skyler King!
Skyler’s Birth Story – Part One
Skyler’s Birth Story – Part Two
Jamie
Thank you for being real with your readers! I’m pregnant and would love a post on the stuff they don’t tell you!
Heather
Hi Jamie! Thank you for reading. That would be a great blog post topic – I’m sure I can come up with a lot more content in a month or so when I experience more newborn life. Stay tuned! 🙂
Liz
With my first i swore by the moby wrap vs the ktan. Now with my second i am more of a ktan fan and thinking the ergo will be better once my 2 month old is a bit bigger. The length of fabric of the moby is way too much when you are out and about and it takes too long to get on. I need something fast! Love reading your keep it real approach here. New motherhood is both beautiful and raw.
Heather
Interesting! Yes, so I have the Free to Grow Tula and also an Ergobaby (it was a hand me down gift) for out and about. I’m really just looking for a wrap I can wear around the apartment now with him being so small since I have the other two. Thank you so much for reading! xo
Emma
I was given a hand me down moby and gifted a boutique brand that was very similar but the fabric was MUCH thinner. When my baby was really little I liked the thin material the best (I didn’t expect to bc it doesn’t seem sturdy enough but they’re so little and pliable it molds to them vs the stiffer fabric). I also liked it because it was about the size of a shirt to easily stick in our diaper bag.
Once she was about 8 lb we want to the ergo with insert which was great!!! Around 4-5 months she outgrew the insert (she was a peanut!). We still use the ergo traveling and love it!!
Erika
So glad things are going well so far! You all make the cutest family! It’s so so hard to get things done with a newborn. It’s amazing how quickly the day goes by without seemingly doing anything although you really are doing everything! Particularly keeping another human being alive! You’ll settle into somewhat of a routine soon enough, but I’m glad you’ve embraced the unpredictability of life with a newborn. Also, I’m not sure if you’ve been warned, but the period of fussiness with newborns tends to peak at 6 weeks so you may have a little bit of time before all of the fussiness/need to constantly be moving with baby starts to settle down, but it does eventually get better! Hang in there, mama!!
Deanna
The newborn phase is tough. Hang in there! I had the k’tan with my third baby and I loved it. I can’t remeber how old she was when I got it…maybe a month old. I felt like it kept her really secure and it was easy to put on. I tried a moby with my oldest and didn’t like it – soooo much fabric! I also tried the ergo with the infant insert with all of my kids and wasn’t a huge fan. I did like the mya ring sling with my middle son but I think out of everything I tried I like the ktan the best for the younger stage. Once they’re bigger I think you’ll find you like your other carrier better. My oldest baby was 9 lbs 10 oz and he still needed lots of newborn clothes. It’s funny to me when people say “don’t get a lot of newborn sizes – they grow out of them so quick”. Babies grow fast all of the time – but when they’re newborns they’re always spitting up or blowing out diapers so you still do need a decent amount lol.
Andrea
I didn’t get it until my little one was 5 months but I think you can use ring slings with newborns. I have the Maya wrap. It has a slight learning curve but I just watched YouTube videos and I absolutely love it. My daughter is 20 months and I’m still using it. All my other carriers are too uncomfortable to use now.
Don’t worry about getting things done! I stressed so much about getting ‘on a schedule’ and getting off the couch to get things done that it stresses me out and it goes by so fast who cares if you spend 4 months on the couch lol
Emma
You have such a great mindset! I struggled the most in months 3-5 when things felt like they stillll weren’t clicking (naps, breastfeeding still!!) so know it’ll keep having ups and downs and be gentle with yourself! Give in to the emotions. I also do a one like a day (those 5 year ones) and would laugh looking over a week bc everyday was different!!
Similarly for the body stuff, like you say, your body knows what to do! You didn’t tell it how to grow a human, it’s just did! Some months you’ll feel great, others you’ll feel like a stranger in your skin.
Also totallywrite the breastfeeding post!!! I went to a little class before hand but mannn I should have done more! We ended up dealing with a tongue and lip tie, acid reflux, and an overall fussy eater, but Witt the help of a wonderful lactation consultant my daughter is 11 months and we’re still breastfeeding. (Just know if it’s not “amazing” that’s fine, not everyone feels that way!!)
Thanks for sharing your journey!
Diane
Love the updates!! I’ve been reading for years, and feel like you’re the friend telling me what to expect when I have kids. Kind of the behind-the-scenes things 🙂
Emily @ Pizza & Pull-ups
You are doing so great momma! I loved my mint wrap for the itty bitty newborn phase, it was comfortable when they wanted to be carried all the time, but it’s a really stretchy fabric, so it didn’t work as well for me when they started to get really wiggly.
Emily @ Pizza & Pull-ups recently posted…Meditation: How to Get Started
Emily @ Pizza & Pull-ups
*moby wrap
Emily @ Pizza & Pull-ups recently posted…Meditation: How to Get Started
Sarah
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, and am so thrilled for you that you now have your rainbow baby! I have two of those myself 🙂 I’m glad you brought up that breastfeeding isn’t always super easy, that’s something I feel like many women don’t know going in! I’m a postpartum nurse and assumed breastfeeding would be so easy after helping women with it for 4 years. Then I did it, and the first 6 weeks were terrible, bad latching, three bouts of mastitis…you name it! Thank goodness for lactation consultants and a good support system. I’m working on becoming certified as an LC myself now after learning so much nursing my daughter for almost two years and currently nursing my son for over a year. So just know that that part does get easier, and the bond it gives you is so worth it. Congratulations, you’re doing great Mama!
Stephanie
Thanks so much for sharing! I am due May 26 (and we did not find out the gender either!) and just cannot get enough information and enjoy reading other people’s real experiences. I would also love a post on breastfeeding; we took a class, but again, I like hearing about what really happens! Congratulations on baby Skyler!
Alyssa
I loved the K’tan for the first 3-4 months (then my little guy got too heavy!) The K’tan is great because I actually learned how to do the “hug” position (for 0-3 months) in a way that he could nurse. Since he cluster nursed from like 4-7pm every day for a good month it was a lifesaver.
Abby
Loves the k’tan! I used it around the house, and I was able to clean while my little guy napped. I thought it was easy to manipulate (with videos online to show various ways to carry the baby) and super comfy. A wrap will really give you so much more flexibility at home, and it’s small enough to throw in your diaper bag and take with you on outings.
Love these updates and seeing pictures of your sweet boy!!
Liz
I loved my Ktan for the newborn age. Actually, I used my Ktan for 4 months, and then my son could sit so we put him in the cart if we went out. If we were home, I didn’t wear him because I didn’t want him to get used to being worn. I was working on my masters so I didn’t want to walk around and snuggle him nonstop, so he was always put down for naps. When he was up, I would literally drag him around the house (wood floors) on a comforter so he could be with me in every room, haha. But he had lots of tummy time and has always been good at playing alone, so maybe that helped 😉 The newborn days are SO hard… I struggled big time through them and then once we hit 1, it was like life took this HUGE turn for the better. And now at 2, I’m just like, give me ALL the toddlers because 2 year olds are seriously the best things in this world. Give me 100 tantrums over 1 sleepless newborn night. And I was a hormonal MESS for a good 3 weeks after birth. I cried out of the blue nonstop because my hormones were INSANE. I also was pretty sure I’d never like being a mom right after I had him, but I changed my mind 🙂 Breastfeeding was harder than I thought. I had always read that circumcision can interfere with breastfeeding and disrupt the early days, but we didn’t circumcise so I was hoping we’d be in the clear. But we had lots of tears and lots of frustration over nursing. Turns out, my son had an upper lip tie and probably wasn’t latching right, and I also had a forceful letdown. We made it a week with nursing, but 11 months exclusively pumping. And I think the boob part of it is what I dread the most next time around! I had HUGE, HUGE, HUGE boobs while nursing and they hurt and were always engorged and it was so hard for me to lengthen time between pumping. Also, I LOVE that you included the belly photos. I kept hearing I’d bounce right back after delivery and I could have punched everybody in the face after delivery. By 6 months, I was back to my prepreg weight but my body was an entirely different shape. It wasn’t until I quit pumping at 11 months that I felt like my body started to go back to normal (and normal now meant flat, pancake boobs, but I will take flat boobs over breastfeeding boobs any day). I always had a great body image but REALLY struggled after because NOTHING I owned fit me and I felt so ridiculous with DD boobs (on a 100lb body). Okay, this is WAY too long, but you totally gave me a throwback to the newborn days!
Marissa
You’re doing amazing, Mama! Those first couple months are magical and mind-numbingly hard. I remember trying to swaddle my screaming six-day-old daughter, and eventually I started crying so hard my snot was dripping down on her. 🙂 (Can you say “hormones”?) I was gifted a Solly wrap, and it was a lifesaver on those days when my daughter was incredibly fussy but wouldn’t sleep in her rocker or bouncy chair. I’d strap her to my body, and after fussing for a few minutes, she would be lights-out for a couple hours. I do freelance work from home, so it was so helpful to have her nap on me while I’d do some computer work. I even used it a couple times when she absolutely would not sleep at night.
But your reminder to not focus so much on to-do lists and to just enjoy your sweet babe is key. This precious time will go by so quickly.
Rose
I’m 4 months in with my first and so much of this is familiar. If I can offer you anything, I’ll just say through cluster feeds and such, a little more formula here or there is not the end of the world and it doesn’t wreak the havoc on your supply that some people will have you believe. I loved my K’tan for my Never Ever wanting to be put down baby. You honestly sound like you’re doing amazingly well. Good for you! The hormones are definitely intense. Love reading baby posts
The Curious Frugal
I loved the ergobaby 360 with the infant insert. I have used it so much and now with my daughter just turned two, I still use it. On extra cuddly days or longer walks she loves being on my back :-). Congratulations on your beautiful son.
Sarah @ Sweet Miles
AHHHH loved reading this!! So many similar thoughts and feelings. Sounds like you did a great job surviving the first two weeks!
Sarah @ Sweet Miles recently posted…Let’s Have Tea Time
chirurgie esthetique Tunisie
I love reading your story !
Edye
I haven’t read your blog forever! Congrats on your little one, girl! Sky is adorable <3
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Joseph Cox
It’s so so hard to get things done with a newborn. It’s amazing how quickly the day goes by without seemingly doing anything although you really are doing everything. Congrats on your little one. Congratulations, you’re doing great Mama. Thanks for the sharing your great experience also helpful.
Medit
Thanks! How did you pack your hospital bag?