Three Years Later, What I’ve Learned

Four years ago, my best friend surprised me with a fairytale of a summer day date in August and popped the big question.

Three years ago, today, I married ‘em!

(You can read all about the ins and outs of our entire wedding day and planning process over on the Wedding Page!)

Anniversaries have always been pretty low-key for us, and this year is no different. We are currently in Houston where Scott is sitting in a conference room and I am hanging in the hotel lobby typing away.

We have plans to see each other later, but it won’t be a special date night or anything. We are here with some of his closest friends, and in fact, a handful of the men that stood up on our wedding day.

Today also happens to be the one to Scott’s right’s birthday, so I’m sure there will be plenty of celebrating!

(Happy Birthday Barry!)

Just not at a romantic lit restaurant with a reservation for two.

I originally got the invite to come join Scott later this week when other wives and families plan to fly in, as the group of us are renting a beach house in Galveston. I cannot wait to get to hit the sand and relax!

I decided to join him when he flew in yesterday instead, because really, I can do everything I need to virtually anywhere. Why not Houston?

Besides catching up on some behind-the-blog projects and studying, I’m hoping to explore the city a little bit and maybe even catch a barre or yoga class in the downtown area. Any studio recommendations?

***

Being married to your best friend is a truly incredible experience. Ours has definitely had both ups and downs, but when it all comes down to it, I’m very happy with where we are right now and what we’re doing.

Over the course of three years, our relationship has been put through the test with unexpected curveballs.

I am grateful that we have used those experiences as lessons along the way, and have managed to keep navigating our way through life together as a team. But it hasn’t come without a few hiccups and a lot of stories.

Just for fun, I thought it would be nice to take a look back on the past three years of marriage and reflect a bit.

What I’ve Learned Through Marriage

(Three Years Later)

• Women want to be loved, just like men want to be respected.

I recently talked about the book Love & Respect with a friend of mine. It’s a great read I was actually assigned to do a report on back in one of my college Communications courses.

I really need to re-read it, but the gist is a very easy concept to understand and take home. Men want to feel respected, and women want to feel loved.

Whenever Scott and I are in disagreement about something, I try to take a step back and see if he feels appreciated and respected in the situation. If he doesn’t I can tell an almost immediate personality change, which to me feels cold. I, a woman, crave to feel loved and don’t respond to this off-putting persona with an open mind and heart.

You can get sucked into the cycle of stubbornness, or keep this principle in mind. I can’t tell you how many fights have been avoided by me simply trying to remember respect = love and that you have to give it to get it.

• You will have the best days together.

There have been a lot of days I have woken up thinking “this is exactly how life is supposed to be.”

I have a husband, we have a roof over our heads (even if it’s rented), and we have sculpted the lives we now have together and are living right here, right now. Life is good!

• You will have the worst days together.

There have been other days where I can’t believe where I am or what I am doing. I sometimes miss living closer to childhood friends and family, and it takes me a minute to remember that Scott and I moved away from it all for a reason. To start a new life together.

Fights are bound to happen and there are times where I just want to run back to what I know. But that’s not life, and that’s not how life goes.

We are where we are, we do what we do, and no matter where we are and what we do we aren’t going to be best friends one hundred percent of the time. Disappointments will happen, struggles will surface, and all you can do is learn to grow from it.

• No one can push your buttons better than your spouse. They’re also the ones that can lift you up the fastest.

Your husband or wife probably knows you better than any one else on this Earth. They know what lights your fire in the best way and also exactly what to say to push your buttons and grab your attention.

Although it’s tempting, just remember that you don’t always have to use this to your advantage.

• Knowing you’ll be with one person for the rest of your life is pretty awesome. It’s also terrifying… and that’s normal.

Scott and I talk about this all the time. I love waking up and knowing he will always be there. It’s an amazing feeling of comfort and security and one I hadn’t experienced until the day after our wedding three years ago.

On the other hand, it’s also kind of crazy. There won’t be any more first dates, first kisses, or other relationships to experience and learn from.

To be honest, part of me misses the feeling of a new relationship every now and then, but that quickly dissolves when I also think about all of the hardships I’ve been through as well.

The troubles and annoyances I’ve moved on and learned from failed relationships haven’t been the greatest.

I love that we have an open enough relationship that we are able to discuss this and wanted to share that this is a normal feeling people go through.

And if there comes a time where I miss getting ready for that first date, I just think of all the other firsts I have yet to experience: our first house, our first positive pregnancy test, our first family vacation, etc. Those outweigh the “is he going to kiss me?” butterflies ten fold.

• You have a permanent date to weddings and always someone to come home and snuggle with.

I would be lying if this isn’t something I instantly thought of when we got engaged. #Datenight can forever be a Friday night occurrence, and I know exactly who will be taking me out.

It also doesn’t hurt to have someone to rub your feet after a long day on them, or someone to save you from all the scary movies.

• Money talk can make or break you.

Your priorities are now both of your priorities. What you spend and what you save now affects two or more people, depending on what your family looks like.

I have heard that the number one subject married couples argue about is money and I totally believe it. Just try to be open and honest about what you’re spending money on and what’s important for you to save for in the future. Work as a team!

• You’re not always right. (Even if you are!)

This is one thing I’ve learned to accept well. When Scott and I don’t see eye to eye on something, ninety-nine percent of the time I think I’m right. So does he.

I’ve learned that in the end, it’s not worth the trouble of keeping your pride for this one. Someone has to be wrong, and even if you don’t think it’s you learn to take one for the team every once and a while.

• Someone will always have your back.

Besides the snuggles, I’ve learned that no matter what life throws at us Scott will always have my back and be on my side.

That kind of love and support is unwavering and I am forever grateful for it.

Here’s to three years, and many, many more to come!

I love you, Scott!

*All photos used in this and all wedding related posts are from Elegant Imagery. See more pictures and read more about our special day here!