Four years ago, my best friend surprised me with a fairytale of a summer day date in August and popped the big question.
Three years ago, today, I married ‘em!
(You can read all about the ins and outs of our entire wedding day and planning process over on the Wedding Page!)
Anniversaries have always been pretty low-key for us, and this year is no different. We are currently in Houston where Scott is sitting in a conference room and I am hanging in the hotel lobby typing away.
We have plans to see each other later, but it won’t be a special date night or anything. We are here with some of his closest friends, and in fact, a handful of the men that stood up on our wedding day.
Today also happens to be the one to Scott’s right’s birthday, so I’m sure there will be plenty of celebrating!
(Happy Birthday Barry!)
Just not at a romantic lit restaurant with a reservation for two.
I originally got the invite to come join Scott later this week when other wives and families plan to fly in, as the group of us are renting a beach house in Galveston. I cannot wait to get to hit the sand and relax!
I decided to join him when he flew in yesterday instead, because really, I can do everything I need to virtually anywhere. Why not Houston?
Besides catching up on some behind-the-blog projects and studying, I’m hoping to explore the city a little bit and maybe even catch a barre or yoga class in the downtown area. Any studio recommendations?
Being married to your best friend is a truly incredible experience. Ours has definitely had both ups and downs, but when it all comes down to it, I’m very happy with where we are right now and what we’re doing.
Over the course of three years, our relationship has been put through the test with unexpected curveballs.
I am grateful that we have used those experiences as lessons along the way, and have managed to keep navigating our way through life together as a team. But it hasn’t come without a few hiccups and a lot of stories.
Just for fun, I thought it would be nice to take a look back on the past three years of marriage and reflect a bit.
What I’ve Learned Through Marriage
(Three Years Later)
• Women want to be loved, just like men want to be respected.
I recently talked about the book Love & Respect with a friend of mine. It’s a great read I was actually assigned to do a report on back in one of my college Communications courses.
I really need to re-read it, but the gist is a very easy concept to understand and take home. Men want to feel respected, and women want to feel loved.
Whenever Scott and I are in disagreement about something, I try to take a step back and see if he feels appreciated and respected in the situation. If he doesn’t I can tell an almost immediate personality change, which to me feels cold. I, a woman, crave to feel loved and don’t respond to this off-putting persona with an open mind and heart.
You can get sucked into the cycle of stubbornness, or keep this principle in mind. I can’t tell you how many fights have been avoided by me simply trying to remember respect = love and that you have to give it to get it.
• You will have the best days together.
There have been a lot of days I have woken up thinking “this is exactly how life is supposed to be.”
I have a husband, we have a roof over our heads (even if it’s rented), and we have sculpted the lives we now have together and are living right here, right now. Life is good!
• You will have the worst days together.
There have been other days where I can’t believe where I am or what I am doing. I sometimes miss living closer to childhood friends and family, and it takes me a minute to remember that Scott and I moved away from it all for a reason. To start a new life together.
Fights are bound to happen and there are times where I just want to run back to what I know. But that’s not life, and that’s not how life goes.
We are where we are, we do what we do, and no matter where we are and what we do we aren’t going to be best friends one hundred percent of the time. Disappointments will happen, struggles will surface, and all you can do is learn to grow from it.
• No one can push your buttons better than your spouse. They’re also the ones that can lift you up the fastest.
Your husband or wife probably knows you better than any one else on this Earth. They know what lights your fire in the best way and also exactly what to say to push your buttons and grab your attention.
Although it’s tempting, just remember that you don’t always have to use this to your advantage.
• Knowing you’ll be with one person for the rest of your life is pretty awesome. It’s also terrifying… and that’s normal.
Scott and I talk about this all the time. I love waking up and knowing he will always be there. It’s an amazing feeling of comfort and security and one I hadn’t experienced until the day after our wedding three years ago.
On the other hand, it’s also kind of crazy. There won’t be any more first dates, first kisses, or other relationships to experience and learn from.
To be honest, part of me misses the feeling of a new relationship every now and then, but that quickly dissolves when I also think about all of the hardships I’ve been through as well.
The troubles and annoyances I’ve moved on and learned from failed relationships haven’t been the greatest.
I love that we have an open enough relationship that we are able to discuss this and wanted to share that this is a normal feeling people go through.
And if there comes a time where I miss getting ready for that first date, I just think of all the other firsts I have yet to experience: our first house, our first positive pregnancy test, our first family vacation, etc. Those outweigh the “is he going to kiss me?” butterflies ten fold.
• You have a permanent date to weddings and always someone to come home and snuggle with.
I would be lying if this isn’t something I instantly thought of when we got engaged. #Datenight can forever be a Friday night occurrence, and I know exactly who will be taking me out.
It also doesn’t hurt to have someone to rub your feet after a long day on them, or someone to save you from all the scary movies.
• Money talk can make or break you.
Your priorities are now both of your priorities. What you spend and what you save now affects two or more people, depending on what your family looks like.
I have heard that the number one subject married couples argue about is money and I totally believe it. Just try to be open and honest about what you’re spending money on and what’s important for you to save for in the future. Work as a team!
• You’re not always right. (Even if you are!)
This is one thing I’ve learned to accept well. When Scott and I don’t see eye to eye on something, ninety-nine percent of the time I think I’m right. So does he.
I’ve learned that in the end, it’s not worth the trouble of keeping your pride for this one. Someone has to be wrong, and even if you don’t think it’s you learn to take one for the team every once and a while.
• Someone will always have your back.
Besides the snuggles, I’ve learned that no matter what life throws at us Scott will always have my back and be on my side.
That kind of love and support is unwavering and I am forever grateful for it.
Here’s to three years, and many, many more to come!
I love you, Scott!
*All photos used in this and all wedding related posts are from Elegant Imagery. See more pictures and read more about our special day here!
Love – Love – Love this love story. I cried all the way through. You and Scott are an inspiration to married couples young and old! Happy Anniversary – find a little alone time before the clock strikes midnight!
Aw, you are so sweet! Thank you so much. You are an inspiration to us! I just love how much your family enjoys all that life has to offer! xo
Strength and Sunshine
Happy Anniversary to you and Scott! XOXO
Thank you! xo
You should definitely check out YogaOne Midtown location or Define Fitness River Oaks!
Thanks for the recommendation!
Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie
Happy 3 years! I’m excited to celebrate that milestone in a few years. 😀
Thank you so much!
Em @ Love A Latte
Totally agree with everything you said you’ve learned! Me too! I’m coming up on two years of marriage in just a few weeks 🙂
This was really encouraging to read. I’m getting married Oct 18 at age 29. He is my very best friend and I am so excited to finally be with him forever. Every so often, though, (mostly because I’ve lived so long on my own), I get a little freaked out at the idea that I won’t be able to come and go as I please or buy what I want, when I want, etc. I know our life together will out weight all of that but it’s still daunting! Thank you for being so honest about it. We’ve been best friends long enough (11 years!) to know everything about each other but sometimes I’m afraid I’ll have a really bad day and scare him off haha The love/respect thing is SO true too. I read “For Men Only” and “For Women Only” (awesome books!) a few years ago and they talked in depth about that. It’s true…it’s amazing to see how he lights up when I show him respect and how much more willing he is to listen to me.
Happy anniversary! Your wedding pictures are beautiful 🙂
Thank you for sharing, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding! What you’re feeling is very normal. I’m sure it will be a bit of an adjustment, but you’ll learn to figure it out. Those books sounds very helpful!
Happy anniversary! I just returned from my honeymoon, our wedding was July 12. This is great advice, I will keep in mind that respect = love!
Aw, congratulations on your marriage! Enjoy being a newlywed! xo
Awww that was beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries
SUCH a sweet post! And so honest too – I appreciate you being real with us! I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. Happy Anniversary! Hopefully you two will be able to celebrate a little bit at some point! 😉
Thank you! I’m sure we will find some time sooner or later! 🙂
So much wisdom! Thank you for sharing your heart and lessons. It is super beneficial, regardless of how long we’ve been on this marriage journey. Congrats on 3 years!! Happy anniversary :)!!
Rachel @ Blonde with a Chanse
This list is so true and so amazing! I love knowing that I always have my hubby to snuggle with, and we have each other’s backs no matter what! Marriage is truly amazing, and all the time and effort that is put into it is sooo worth it 🙂
Loved reading this H.B., congratulations to you and Scott! Love you both!!
Glitz Glam Gluten-Free
Happy Anniversary! I loved seeing all your beautiful wedding pictures in this post– you look so gorgeous! And as a single gal, I can’t wait to find my husband and loved reading these bits of advice in advance!
Happy Anniversary! I am so glad I read this 🙂 I have been in a serious relationship for two years and we plan to get our own place together in the fall, and know we are in this for the long run. Sometimes lately I think about how there won’t be any other guy in my life ever or any more kisses or dates with anyone else (I love him to death and am so happy with him, but just like you said, its a normal feeling!) It was so great to hear it is normal to have these thoughts from time to time. After all we were both each other’s first ever “real” relationships! But hey there are even high school sweethearts who stay together forever & that is one of a kind! I am saving this post to remember down the road, so I can remember all relationships have ups and downs and no one has a picture perfect seamless one like in the movies or in magazines 🙂