Blogging is a funny funny thing.
We use blogs to network, share journeys, inspire, and even expand our businesses. My blog has always incorporated a big part of my personal life, and I have a feeling that won’t be changing any time soon.
Here (and through other social media outlets like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) I share pictures and stories of big milestones in our lives, exciting news, accomplishments and every day adventures.
The blogs I enjoy reading and find myself revisiting often do the same thing. I like getting inspiration for healthy eating, workouts, and ideas for new things to get into, but I also like getting to know the person behind the writing. For this reason, I always include personal posts and pictures of me, my friends, and my family.
Today I am writing about a subject I have been wanted to share with you all for quite some time. Ready?
We’re Not Perfect
Marriage is also a funny funny thing.
I am not comparing it to blogging, but I am relating the two because people tend to only see the good things broadcasted. Truth is, marriage – just like any kind of relationship – takes work and is not by any means a breeze.
Scott and I started dating back in 2007. We got engaged in August of 2010, married in July 2011, and I love him to death.
Scott is and always will be the number one person in my life, my best friend, my partner in crime, and a priority.
If I had to guess, I bet the majority of you who keep up with our lives think that we don’t fight, we don’t struggle, and that we spend most of our nights cuddled up on the couch telling each other how much we’re in love. (Okay, maybe not the last part… but you get what I’m saying!)
We do that… sporadically. Most times, however, he stays busy outside of the house or we are in completely separate rooms doing our own things.
We both have very independent personalities and value time to ourselves, which is completely fine. Maybe that is why I started blogging in the first place? Writing here is something I can do just for me. (Well, and you guys!)
Our two year anniversary is coming up next month, and when I take a step back to look at everything we have been through during that time, it is a little overwhelming.Losing his job, leaving the NBA, seeing our savings turn into bill payments, questioning the future, depending on each other, working two jobs (and blogging) while Scott stayed home to look for work, Scott getting a job, moving up north, settling into a new city, leaving family, meeting new people, dancing in the NBA again, adjusting to living in freezing cold weather, working from home, putting kids on hold…
I mean, just thinking about going through everything again is exhausting!
I am going out on a limb sharing these details of our relationship with you all, but I am doing so with a clear purpose: to share we are not perfect, nor did I ever claim to be, nor do I ever want to be.
We get mad at each other. We fight. We get jealous. We get protective. We still question having children, and if so, when the right time would be.
The last two years of our relationship have been the most difficult and challenging by far. We have had a lot of trials and things pop up that get in the way of being happy… but you will never see it here.
Why I Don’t Post The Bad
I cringe when people whine on social media. I understand everyone gets frustrated and has bad days, but you will never see me complaining about something like that there. This is not because bad things don’t happen to me!
I believe there is a time and a place to talk about struggles, and I just do not think it is appropriate to do so in a status update.
Of course there are times I post about getting a parking ticket, quitting a workout program, or sharing when something just isn’t working out for me. I often share those things in a humorous way, while making fun of myself.
We all have those days, and it is completely normal.
I choose to keep the negative things to myself because I do not enjoy reading negative thoughts, nor do I enjoy being around negative people. I appreciate when people open up and share personal struggles and challenges, and I think it is important to share the good and the bad about certain situations, but in an appropriate setting.
When meeting one of my readers recently (Hi Tanya!) she mentioned that she appreciates when I include cheat meals or pictures of desserts in my posts because it shows I am “not a robot.” Ha! I literally laughed out loud at that and her, because it was funny and so true. How do people know you indulge, cheat, or mess up if you never write about it?
Since then, I have been starting to wonder how people perceive my life, and my relationships.
I’m Not Perfect
I am a housewife, but I am also a hard worker. I am a dancer, and I spend a lot of my time eating healthy, working out, and focusing on what it takes to keep up my appearance. I am a wife, and I spend a lot of time learning what it means to be a good one. I am a friend, but I am awful at checking up on people. I am a cook, but am FAR from calling myself any kind of chef.
I run into things. I break things. I fall. I lose my car keys (for weeks at a time! Not kidding!) I gain weight. I lose weight. I eat ice cream. I get disappointed in myself, and the older I get the more I have to work at being “glamorous.”
Turning 28 has been great for me. I am starting to realize who I am and who I’m not. At my age, some think I should already own my own home, have a steady career, and be working on Baby #2. At this moment in time, we aren’t even close to any of those things. Not only have I embraced it, but I prefer it that way.
I love my life. I love my marriage. I love my jobs, and I love being able to share everything with you.
I’m not perfect, and I love it.
Heather, thank you for sharing. Today was the prefect day for me to read that. I appreciate your honesty! Your are truly inspiring!
Aw, thanks Joanne! Hope you are doing well!
This may be my favorite post yet!!! I love love love the truth and when people open up and take a moment to reflect on their imperfections for others to realize they’re not alone… After all, it’s our imperfections that make us perfect in our own way. Thank you for this!!
I completely agree! Love it!
Loved reading your blog today!
Thanks!! Love and miss you!
Tiff @ Love Sweat & Beers
So much truth here! I hate to gripe via social media too. It’s not that I’m trying to paint a picture of perfection, I just find the happy stuff more fun to talk about and to read. I’m there with ya girl!
Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy
So many good points, Heather. I’ve had some criticism on my blog lately for decisions I’ve made in my own life, but I know that the majority of the people appreciate honesty — none of us are perfect, and we have to live our lives in a way that works for us!
First, Emily, your blog is YOURS to write! Don’t feel bad about criticism… everyone is going to have an opinion, and they will vary. It’s your story and you are the one in control to write it. 😉 Second, your blog title couldn’t go more perfectly with this comment. Love it!
Great post, Heather. Lori and I celebrate 19 years next week. I appreciate your insight. 🙂
That’s awesome Tim!!! Happy Anniversary to you two!!
this is why I love your blog so much! this hit home to me. i have 5 alarms set everyday, i’m ocd clean freak, i love home shopping and qvc, love grocery shopping and reading labels for hours, a closet organizer has been on my yearly to do list! i wish i could sleep all day.. yea there are days I think i’m going nuts! 🙂
you are YOUnique, we are YOUnique. 🙂 we are not perfect.. and the people around us are definitely not perfect! xoxo.
I’m glad you can relate Olga! Perfect is so boring 😉 Love your YOUnique way of thinking!
I love this and I hope it was as cathartic to write as it is for me to read…
…Blogging is so tough because nobody wants to write about the crap stuff (and who wants to read it?) but there is definitely a tendency to come off as perfect. I am very proud of you for writing this and hope that you just stay true to yourself and your relationships.
Thank you, Katy! It truly was. In fact, I keep re-reading it. Blogging IS tough, and I just hope people get that just because we don’t share the bad doesn’t mean we escape it. Posts like this just feel necessary every once in a while!
Krista @ Krista Mae's Healthy Ways
This post is great!! As a newly married couple (our one year is this month) I can totally agree that marriage is hard work! But so worth it!! Thank you for sharing these details and reminding all of us that it’s okay to be human!!
Thank you, and congratulations on (almost) a year! Just like eating healthy, it can be a challenge to keep the relationship in a marriage healthy. I love my marriage, and the good definitely outweighs the bad, but I just think it is important to throw the truth out there every now and then! We ARE human, after all! 😉
Em @ Love A Latte
This is such a fantastic post. I really appreciate your mentality and I totally agree! I just recently found your blog and I’m really enjoying reading your posts 🙂
Awesome! Welcome, Em! 🙂