Good Afternoon! It’s been a busy day away from the computer, but I wanted to pop in and continue on with the Blogging FAQs series I started last month before it gets away from me.
I actually drafted this up for a guest post over on Nichole’s blog a few weeks ago! She runs a site that is all about keeping a positive outlook, and recently asked me what I do when I come across negativity, especially when I find it on social media pages or in blog comments.
I gave her a quick answer, but thought it would be great to discuss it here with you all as well.
Dealing With Negativity on Social Media
If you are on social media – and especially if you are a blogger – you are eventually going to come across it.
Whether it’s on your own page or you stumble upon it on someone else’s, the crazy online world we call the Internet can be a very beautiful, yet haunting experience.
Just like life, blogging can have it’s good (I love what I do and this magical world of connecting through social media) and it’s bad (what the heck just happened, and why am I still putting my heart and soul into this) days.
It’s bound to happen to all of us at one point or another, and that is completely normal. But, when you least expect it, you’ll receive a comment or email that will brighten your day and remind you why you care so much. You’ll snap out of the blues and why you started sharing your life and words with others will become clear again: to inspire, and most likely to make people smile.
It will feel good, and you’ll be on your game until the next negative comment comes around.
So how do we move past the bad and focus on the good?
Social media is a great tool for both businesses and friendships, but it can also make us judge without even realizing it. We can easily get caught up in The Comparison Game and experience emotions about ourselves solely based on what others are up to.
It can be vicious, and hurt even more when others realize they have similar thoughts and use your page as a platform to discuss them.
While I’m not claiming to be an expert on the subject, I have prepared a handful of tips that can help us rise above the negativity that can so easily consume… well… all of us.
• Take negative comments with a grain of salt.
Comments are comments. That’s it. In the real world, what do comments equal? Nothing.
They literally have no power over our lives, unless we let them get into our heads and affect us.
Whenever you see something you don’t like or appreciate, remember to take a comment for what it is. An opinion… that’s it.
• Negativity on social media is just like negativity in real life.
Remember those silly little rumors people in high school made up about so-and-so just to get a rise out of their classmates? That can easily happen on social media pages as well, but you have to decipher what is important to stress over and what isn’t worth your time.
Majority of the time, negative people aren’t worth your time.
Move right past ’em and spend your time focusing on those who actually take the time to know you!
• Think about what’s bothering you. Is it what somebody said, or how they said it?
There’s something to be said about taking and accepting feedback.
When it’s written in an off-putting way, however, you can lose the point of the comment all together and only remember that word or phrase that made you upset. Just like the comment is just a comment point mentioned above, a word is just a word.
Is a word really worth the time you are spending dwelling on it?
Probably not. Move on!
• Keep in mind that some people comment to offer constructive criticism. But… there’s also a line between constructive and rude.
Most feedback comes from an outsider’s wish to provide constructive criticism. Most.
In some cases, people want to voice their opinion to help you see something from a reader or follower’s point of view. They get the courage to say something and hope you’ll hear them.
If they’re just being straight up rude, that’s a line you don’t even need to jump close to. Again, is this really worth your time and energy to stress over? Most likely, your answer will – again – be no.
• Don’t get defensive. If you aren’t sure how to respond to a negative comment, take as much time as you need before you address it properly.
Just like the “think before you speak” rule, it isn’t a bad thing to have a filter online.
Your first instinct might be to speak up and address someone who is being rude in an unflattering way. In the long run, that isn’t going to do anything but make you look silly and egg them on even more.
If you aren’t quite sure how to respond to something, ask a friend and have them help you come up with an appropriate response.
• Your blog and social media pages are your spaces. You have the right to ignore, delete, or respond to anything.
The choice of what to do with a negative comment is completely up to you.
Just remember that you chose to put yourself out there, and there are all types of followers under the reader umbrella. Not everyone is going to respond the same way, and in turn, negative comments might surface.
With the good, often comes the bad, and how you address it can make you an even better blogger and inspiration to follow.
Take a deep breath, reflect on what was said, and address it with a light heart and maybe even a sense of humor.
• Focus on the positive!
Everyone has their differences and struggles, but there is a way to go about and discuss them. Complaining won’t get you very far, but taking a look at what you’ve learned throughout the hardships will.
Whenever you need to block out the bad, think of the good. Focus on those appreciative emails or positive notes of feedback and use them as inspiration to keep moving.
You’ll only get as far as you let yourself go. Make sure to keep looking forward, and that what’s in front of you is bright!
Previous FAQs on Blogging Posts
See you in the morning!
Kim @ Fittin Pretty
Awesome point about taking as much time as you need before responding to negative comments! It can be so tempting to jump right in and defend yourself, but you definitely want to do it carefully and with the right attitude. Great points–thanks for sharing this!!
Chelsea @ A Fit LittleOne
Absolutely loved this!! Especially the “you have the right to ignore, delete, or respond” . There are times I get weird comments on Instagram and just don’t know how to respond, or it’s one that just bothers me. And when I delete or ignore it, I feel bad. So I need to keep this in mind!
It’s always very awkward when that happens. I’ve learned to step away when it does and take some time to figure out the best way to handle it.
Kim @ livingnbliss
Love this post! I wrote something similar late last year about social media and it’s influence on our moods (mostly about how pregnancy announcements/continuous everyday posts can be hurtful to those trying to conceive). I’ve hid so many people from my newsfeed and it’s helped my well-being and my husband’s sanity!
Yeah, it can certainly be hard to constantly see happy updates and not want to automatically compare them to your life. You have to do what works for you, but always remember that people rarely post the bad. Facebook and social media posts only show a glimpse into peoples lives, and usually it’s the highlights!
Its a sad world when people feel the need to be negative and hurtful to others and feel its OK to do so because its not face-to-face!
I’m sure I’m not alone in this but wanted to say I absolutely love your blog. Thank you for sharing so much with us readers. I enjoy the topics you cover, your thoughts and pictures. I’m contemplating starting a blog too, if its only half as good as ‘Housewife Glamour’ I would be extremely happy
Thank you so much, Zoe! And I appreciate you reading! If you would like to start a blog, I say go for it! See my two previous Blogging FAQs (links above) to read what I’ve learned along the way!